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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742535">redemption lies plainly in truth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/atthedivide/pseuds/atthedivide'>atthedivide</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>15x03 coda, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, a hunter and an angel learn how to use their words, i woke up thinking about the divorce arc today and decided to write what shouldve happened, no empty deal bc its a mood killer, s16 of spn is in full swing so heres my contribution</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:48:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,392</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742535</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/atthedivide/pseuds/atthedivide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>dean asks cas to stay</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>175</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>redemption lies plainly in truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi again. i woke up thinking about the divorce arc and then the writing braincell hit me at terminal velocity this afternoon and i ended up with this. still cant believe im writing spn fic in the year of our lord 2021 but here i am again. if theres typos im sorry its not betad and i wrote the last half on my phone. the first few lines of dialogue are directly from the ep but the rest is mine . enjoy lads</p><p>title from achilles come down by gang of youths</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“The plan changed, Dean. Something went wrong. You know this. Something always goes wrong.” Cas says, his voice strained. His eyes were pleading, begging Dean to understand. Dean did understand - hell most of the plans they make flip ass over tits, but he can’t keep the venom out of his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?” Dean can’t stop the words from punching out of him. He knows it’s a low blow, but he’s so </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He needs to lash out and Cas is just the one in the blast zone. Castiel’s entire body turns to stone and Dean can’t bring himself to meet his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt. Now you can barely look at me. My powers are failing, and - I’ve tried to talk to you, over and over, and you just don’t want to hear it. You don’t care. I’m dead to you. You still blame me for Mary.” Cas bites out, barely restrained hurt in his voice, and Dean’s stomach turns. He’s right about Mary, but not about Dean not caring. That’s the root of the problem though - Dean cares too much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s spent years keeping Cas at arms length so he doesn’t lean too close or stare too long or accidentally say the words that have been rolling under his tongue for the last twelve years. He’s gotten good at hiding how his chest aches every time Cas smiles and how his cheeks heat up every time he catches Cas watching him. He’s had to try so hard to hide exactly how much he panics when Cas gets hurt. He wonders how many times over the past twelve years he’s had to clench his hands into fists to keep from reaching out and brushing his fingers over Castiel’s arm or his knee. Dean is almost positive Cas feels the same for him, but he can’t be sure. Cas is an </span>
  <em>
    <span>angel </span>
  </em>
  <span>and Dean knows his emotions don’t work like a human’s do, so he always stops himself from taking that final step. He doesn’t know if it’s fear of rejection or fear of ruining the best friendship he’s ever had that keeps him from finally saying it. There’s too much at stake, and he would rather not know than mess up the only good thing he still has.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean knows if he answers Cas now his words will just do more damage, so he just nods. Castiel’s face falls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don't think there's anything left to say.” Cas says softly, turning and moving toward the stairs. Dread spikes through Dean. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?” He asks, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. Cas hesitates, but doesn’t turn around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jack’s dead. Chuck’s gone. You and Sam have each other. I think it’s time for me to move on.” Cas says, and starts up the stairs. Dean’s chest clenches at the sight and he stands from the table. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t leave. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><span>“Cas.” The word bursts out of him before he can even think. He sounds breathless even to his own ears and there’s a feeling he can’t place rolling just below the surface of his skin. He’s across the room and standing on the steps of the war room in seconds, hands balled into fists at his sides, staring at Cas halfway up the staircase.</span> <span>“Is that it then? You’re just leaving? Twelve years and this is what finally does it?” Cas stops and faces Dean, his hands white knuckled around the railing.</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you want from me, Dean.” He says, blue eyes boring into Dean’s with that otherworldly intensity that Dean never really got used to. He feels exposed. “You just said yourself that I’m the problem here. No matter what I do I mess it all up, so I’m leaving. Maybe without me in the equation you can fix it. My powers are almost gone anyway. I wouldn’t be of much use even if I stayed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something in Dean’s chest snaps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goddammit, Cas. You know what I want from you?” Dean growls out, running his hands over his head. He moves father into the room and meets Castiel’s eyes again. Cas shakes his head slowly. He looks so hurt and Dean hates himself for it. He’s already on edge and he’s angry and he’s so </span>
  <em>
    <span>sick</span>
  </em>
  <span> of not saying what he means. “I want you to </span>
  <em>
    <span>stay, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Cas. I want you to stay here and let me be angry and lash out for a few days because that’s what I do and I can’t seem to help it. But I need you to </span>
  <em>
    <span>stay. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I don’t care that you fuck shit up Cas. Jesus, look at me. Almost every shitty thing we’ve had to deal with since we met has been my fault. But we dealt with it all </span>
  <em>
    <span>together</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You’ve saved my ass so many times, Cas. Saved Sammy’s. I’ll never be able to pay you back for all of it. And I don’t give a shit if you’ve got your angel mojo or not. That’s not what’s important. I want you here because you’re family. I want you here because I-” Dean’s voice finally breaks. He still can’t get the right words out. “You’re my best friend, Cas. I’m not letting you leave in some self sacrificial pity gesture again. Everyone walks away from me, Cas, and I’m so sick of getting left behind. I’m asking you to stay. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> you to stay</span>
  <em>
    <span>.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean is breathing hard as he hangs his head and closes his eyes, trying to gather himself together enough to look at Cas. It felt good to finally say it out loud, to say what he wanted, even if it wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> he wanted. He hopes it was enough. He can’t lose Cas again. The last time had almost killed him and he doesn’t think he could take it if Cas </span>
  <em>
    <span>chose </span>
  </em>
  <span>to leave for good. He hears Cas walk back down the stairs and across the room, stopping a couple feet in front of Dean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean,” Cas says softly. Dean’s hands are still shaking by the time he manages to open his eyes. He blinks a few times before lifting his head and meets his eyes. Cas’ eyes are shining and rimmed in red and Dean doesn’t know if he’s ever seen Cas cry before. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nice going asshole, you made an angel cry. That’s a new low even for you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Do you mean it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean is momentarily stunned at the uncertainty in his voice. How could he think that Dean would say all of that and </span>
  <em>
    <span>not mean it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “Of course I mean it, Cas. Jesus, man, that’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.” Dean forces as much sincerity into his voice as he can. He needs Cas to understand. Cas searches his face for a few moments and Dean doesn’t know what he’s looking for, but he seems to find it. Cas lets out a long breath and his whole body relaxes. In the span of a heartbeat he closes the distance between them and pulls Dean into a hug. This hug feels different than the others they’ve shared over the years. Cas has his arms wrapped tight around Dean’s waist and his face buried in Dean’s neck and Dean’s heart feels like it’s going to burst. He loops his arms around Castiel’s neck and grips him back just as tightly, his eyes slipping closed. Cas is warm and solid against him and he allows himself to duck his face into the curve of Castiel’s neck and breathe him in. It’s like there’s always been a wall up between them, and now Dean’s words have broken it down. They stand there wrapped in each other for either seconds or hours before Cas pulls back. He keeps his hands resting on Dean’s waist and Dean’s heart pounds in his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I’ll stay.” Cas says quietly, a small smile on his face. “That’s all I ever wanted to do, I just didn’t think I was allowed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean almost laughs, it’s so ridiculous. He knew his communication skills were bad, but they’re apparently so much worse than he thought. He almost makes a joke in response, but he’s on a roll now and Cas is so close and he has to say something before he loses his nerve and they’re back where they started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re allowed, Cas.” Dean says, gripping the sleeves of the trenchcoat. He meets Castiel’s eyes and thinks </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He forces his voice to stay steady as he says, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> you want, Cas, you’re allowed to have.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas tenses slightly and his hesitancy is evident on his face. Dean doesn’t look away. He’s toeing the line now and he refuses to turn back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything?” Cas asks, his voice soft. Dean tightens his hands on Castiel’s sleeves and rocks forward. His heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest but he refuses to back down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything.” Dean repeats, finally letting his eyes slip down to Castiel’s mouth. He looks back up and hopes Cas understands because that’s as much as his brain will let him say and he needs Cas to meet him in the middle. They stare at each other for a handful of moments, and then Castiel’s hands are on his face and he’s sliding their lips together and </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean melts into him, his mouth going slack as he presses forward into Castiel’s space. He slides his hands inside the coat to rest on Castiel’s lower back and pull them closer together. Cas’ mouth is warm and slick under his and Dean thinks that it’s the best thing in the world. He’s kissed his way through plenty of shitty towns and roadside bars but </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing </span>
  </em>
  <span>has ever felt like this. He runs his tongue along Castiel’s bottom lip and he opens beneath him and lets out a small whine and Dean is </span>
  <em>
    <span>gone. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He’s never gonna need anything more than this, completely content to kiss Cas for the rest of his life. He grips Cas tighter and pulls him even closer until they’re pressed chest to toe and Dean feels like he’s floating. Castiel’s hands are warm and soft on his face and his stubble is scratching Dean’s chin and Dean never wants to let him go. Eventually Cas does come up for air and Dean kisses across his cheek to his jaw, not ready to let his lips leave warm skin yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas threads his fingers through the short hairs at the base of Dean’s skull, and they just hold onto each other. After a few minutes of catching their breath, Dean kisses his way back across Cas’ face to brush their lips together again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you.” He says finally, which isn’t what he meant to say at all, but his brain is still mostly offline and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>means</span>
  </em>
  <span> it, so he doesn’t let himself slip into the freak out that he always thought would come with those words. Cas deserves to hear it and know that Dean means it with everything he has. He pulls back far enough to meet Castiel’s eyes, his pupils still blown wide from the kiss. Cas just stares at him with his mouth hanging open. “I love you.” Dean says again, brushing his fingers along Castiel’s cheek like he’s wanted to do for years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas pushes forward and kisses him again, desperate and intent. “I love you, Dean. So much.” He says against Dean’s mouth, and warmth slides down his spine. “Since the moment I touched your soul in Hell. I didn’t know what it meant then, but I do now. I knew years ago but I didn’t know you-“ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Purgatory. The first time.” Dean interrupts, smiling at him, and Cas looks confused. His eyebrows furrow and his eyes go all squinty and Dean is so, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so in love. “</span>
  </em>
  <span>That’s when I knew.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>eight</span>
  </em>
  <span> years ago.” Cas says, his eyes sad. Dean knows what he’s thinking. They could’ve had so much more time if one of them had just had the balls to say something, but he refuses to let the what-ifs drown out where they are right now. He draws his thumb over the soft skin beneath Castiel’s eye.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. But we’re here now. And I intend to make up for the time we missed.” Dean says with a raised eyebrow. A slow smile creeps onto Cas’ face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” He asks, fully grinning now. Dean grins back and nods, pulling him into another kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He whispers against Cas’ mouth. Dean’s blood is pumping hard and he feels lightheaded and he doesn’t think he’s ever been happier than he is right now. “I’m still mad at you though. This doesn’t change anything, I still get my two days of stomping around the bunker.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean is kidding and thinks he’ll spend the next few days floating around instead, but he isn’t used to so much </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>bouncing around in his brain and it’s a reflex to deflect. Cas pulls back and narrows his eyes. He looks so adorable and Dean regrets saying it immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” Cas says finally, completely serious. “Does this mean we get to have make-up sex then when you’re done? I’ve heard it’s the best kind”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean’s heart grounds to a halt for a few seconds as his brain is flooded with the possibilities before he throws his head back and </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughs.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we can and will absolutely do that.” He says, still laughing, and finally steps back out of the bubble they’ve been wrapped up in. He only gets two steps away before Cas is grabbing his waist and pulling him back in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I say sorry now can we skip the stomping and get right to that part?” Cas asks, his voice pitched low, and Dean’s brain shuts down. He just stares at Castiel’s mouth and then drags his eyes up after his system reboots. Cas’ eyes are so dark they’re almost black and all the air leaves Dean’s lungs. He grins, backing away toward the hallway where his bedroom is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe. Why don’t you try it and find out?” He asks, raising his eyebrow. Cas is across the room and back in Dean’s space in a heartbeat. They barely make it to the bedroom.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tumblr: lynchsmere<br/>twitter: gideonnavs</p></blockquote></div></div>
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